Yeah......... didn't post anything last week. It was... kinda crazy for me (I don't even know how to eloquently explain half of it), and I meant to post this last week, but I forgot. Anyway....
Over the past couple of years, I’ve learned to
appreciate Christian films. Sure, they’re not as flashy or as elegant as
mainstream movies, and I don’t have anything against them, either. It’s just
that, well, some of them can actually be really good, in spite of their obvious
Christian tones and B-list-ness.
Yes, that’s a word I made up.
Anyway, one such movie was The
Last Appeal.
Ever watch a movie and think, “Um… am I watching a movie or a
theatrical production?” or, “Am I at the theater
or the theatre?
Yes, I brought back that gif.
I spent way too much time
timing it just to use it once.
Well, I get the feeling a playwright wrote it, and
a theatre director staged it. Oh, and I’m almost certain the actors are part of
a theatrical traveling troupe, but that’s being waaaaay too nit-picky to
consider it as a real flaw.
This movie starts out in a back alleyway where a
drug deal is taking place between a drug lord and a crooked cop. Right in the
middle of it, a man with a gun shows up out of nowhere demanding the money just
handed to the drug lord. It turns out that drug lord owed random man the money
or something. In any case, a cop shows up out of nowhere (seriously, doesn’t
this sound like an intro to Law and Order
or something?) demanding everyone put their weapons down. Crooked cop actually
made the setup without anticipating the other guy arriving.
After a verbal battle that goes on way longer than
it would’ve gone in real life, random man shoots the second cop (named Ivan) on
the spot and escapes. The drug lord disappears, too, not to be seen again in
the film. The one shot kills the second cop, and the man (named Titus) ends up
on death row.
The film cuts ahead one year and shows Ivan’s
widow, Trisha, on the computer. Her friend Katherine tries to get her hopes up
to no avail. She even points out the fact that Trisha has stopped playing the
piano, which is very odd behavior for a professional concert pianist. Still,
nothing.
In the death row cells, there are five inmates. The
first is Curtis, a tattooed White Supremacist. The second is Randy, a man
trying to prove his innocence, in spite of his dwindling hope. Titus is in the
middle, and he tries and tries daily to get the governor to lower his sentence
to life in prison. The fourth is Clayton, a war veteran and former drug dealer
who got saved in prison (and is trying his hardest to get the other inmates
saved). The last one is Doc, another veteran, but has PTSD and does not talk.
The Last Appeal
takes a small but powerful journey for each of these six individuals, based on
faith and knowing when to give your life to God. Oh, and it has a HEAVY Gospel
message in there. FOUR TIMES and FOUR WAYS (at least) the Gospel is
presented. Oh, no, this isn’t playing around with Christianity, this is dealing
with life and death.
I DARE NOT SAY WHAT HAPPENED TO TITUS, but I will say that I could not hold it
together. Man, I wasn’t ready for the ending. I hadn’t cried that much due to a
movie since Rigoletto! It does have a
very dark, heavy tone, but what would you expect from a movie about death row?
I don’t care who you are, where you are, or who you worship, just watch it at
least once. 5/5 Stars.
You know, it didn't even hit me when I scheduled "The Little Panda Fighter" that Patriot's Day was coming up. So, without further adieu...
I'm getting nostalgic just looking at that picture.
I pretty much grew up in the whole NY/NJ area, and going to New York for me was either a drive through the Holland Tunnel, a ride on the PATH subway, or the rare ride on the ferry. However, no matter where I was, I always seemed to feel a little sense of being home just seeing the Twin Towers in the distance.
Going to the World Trade Center on the PATH was pretty much awesome for me, even as a kid who frequented the PATH, and looking straight up when standing at its base was almost breathtaking.
A couple of amazing memories attached to this would be the following:
1) I would often go to the WB store (anybody remember that?) located in the underground floor. It was filled with Looney Toons characters galore, along with other WB cartoon characters of the time period. And if I went there before or after going to the Pretzel Time close by, it was paradise for my young self. I remember my parents got me some framed pictures based on the iconic characters (I still have my picture of The Rabbit of Seville!), a Tweety Bird t-shirt (at the time, I was tiny, and it was practically a dress), as well as a Tweety Bird backpack with matching stationery, as well as Buster and Babs Bunny stuffed toys. Sadly, I lost Babs on a carousel ride at Newport Mall, and I'm pretty sure I returned sadder than my lonely Buster Bunny. Either way, I miss that store so much.
Again, waxing nostalgic over here.
2) Arthur's Birthday Party. Okay, so maybe I was probably s-l-i-g-h-t-l-y out of Arthur's target demographic by the time this came out, but this elementary-school student that was yours truly was not about to miss out on this party of a lifetime.
I WAS A KID, OKAY?!
It was pretty awesome, actually. Some crow puppets were the opening act, I got to see a pretty decent magician, not to mention all the FREE ICE CREAM I could eat!!!! :) And of course, when Arthur and the gang came out, the whole party was jumpin'. Dancing to some Arthur tunes, plus some hits through the decades.
I remember at the end of the show, D.W. said, "Thanks for coming, I hope you all enjoyed my show!" Arthur ran out and said, "My show, DW. Maybe you can have one next year." In typical "little sister" fashion, she turns away with her arms folded. Little did any of us know of what was to come.
The events surrounding the 9/11 attacks were no doubt hard to watch. I remember my mother letting me know that the Twin Towers were attacked while I was working on my history lesson (I was homeschooled at the time). I also remember seeing when the North tower finally collapsed. Mostly, though, I remember that smoke rose from that area for days, and it was seen EVERYWHERE.
Not surprisingly, I do miss the Twin Towers. I wish that I could've taken future kids to see it. I do, however, have going to the top of the Freedom Tower on my bucket list. The next item: taking my future family to the top of the Freedom Tower.
I honestly thought it was a joke at first. I mean, you did look at the
trailer, right? Is it just me, or did the trailer
voice guy not even believe in the very essence
of this movie toward the end? I looked it up on IMDb, and yeah, it’s an actual
film. Thankfully, it’s not even an hour, but trust me, it’ll feel like a full-length feature. I figure since I’d
watched Foodfight! already, this
movie couldn’t be any worse.
By the way, I’m not gonna waste
the bandwidth to put a full post
on Foodfight!, so…
it was awful.
All around. Just… don’t watch
it, please. I’m begging you.
You’re welcome.
Anyway, this movie starts off about a big, clumsy Panda named Po
Pancada (okay…) that works in a noodle shop restaurant, bar, and boxing ring joint
(what?), but has dreams of being one of the best Kung Fu masters ballet
dancers the world has to offer (what??!),
even though he’s pressured into becoming a noodle shop owner liking
boxing matches, despite the fact that he has no desire to sell noodles
thinks fighting is violent (YOUSAYWHATNOW‽‽‽‽‽).
The boxing bar does have plenty of customers that eat there, but the
fights are very predictable and boring. Why? “Freak” Teddy Thunders has been
the reigning champ for years, so there’s no excitement. The owner of the
restaurant, a polar bear named Polaris, used to fight, but had to sign a
contract with Grizzlepuss (some weird-looking thing with a constant nose drain)
saying that if he fought in the ring again, he would lose ownership of the
joint.
Pancada is a busboy in this establishment, and because of his dislike
of fighting, nobody really likes him, especially this one female bear that he
has a crush on, named Beth. Pancada trains hard, but only to become a ballet
dancer.
One day, Polaris finds a loophole in his contract. He disguises
himself under a new name and identity, complete with a black suit and mask. He
asks Pancada to wash it. While washing his boss’s clothes, he gets distracted
and practices his dancing. Beth catches him, and he tells her that he was
working on some boxing moves. Beth is pleasantly surprised at the change of
attitude, although slightly suspicious. Pancada distracts her away from the
laundry room, leaving the suit in the washer altogether.
The day of Pancada’s audition with a prominent dance school arrives,
and Pancada brings his best: a ridiculous-looking improv dance (that part was
actually supposed to be good), ending
with an even more ridiculous-looking leap over the judges’ table as a finishing
move. He does not make it into the academy.
Pancada’s disguised boss has a fight with the reigning champion that
very same day. Because of his fighting prowess, not only does he help deliver
an exciting show, he actually defeats the champion! During the fight however,
his suit and mask shrink in size (due to the overwashing), and it makes him
look like…. Pancada!
While Pancada walks to work the next day, everybody passing by him congratulates
him, and even Beth flirts with him. Unfortunately, Pancada thinks they’re
congratulating him for his dance audition, and wonders if they were all
secretly watching him.
I CAN TELL YOU RIGHT NOW,
THERE’S NO WAY ON PLANET
EARTH THAT SCENE WAS
ANIMATED WELL ENOUGH FOR
SUCH A PLOT POINT TO BE POSSIBLE.
Polaris meets with Pancada, upset that everyone thinks he was the one that beat the champ.
Clueless Pancada stands his ground that it was he. Beth hears the commotion and
scolds Polaris for his jealousy. Polaris tries to hide his ruse by saying he
trained Pancada. Beth loves them both for being an inspiration to all.
Okay, some girls have roller-coaster emotions,
this one’s just a head case!
Pancada then reveals that he had an audition the same night as the big
fight. Polaris then has a huge, weird laugh, and then tells Pancada about what
happened that night. Surprisingly enough, Pancada puts it together pretty
quickly. Polaris then lets him in on his ruse. Freak Teddy demands a rematch,
and Polaris fights as Pancada again, a plan into which Pancada reluctantly
gives.
Pancada explains his troubles to his dance insctructor / master, Master
Xin, and he tells Pancada he must either tell the truth, or become a Panda
fighter.
The next day, the newspaper reveals that “Pancada” won the rematch,
and the story makes the front page… again.
Pancada meets Polaris in his office, where he’s informed that Teddy
wants YET ANOTHER REMATCH. This time, Pancada demands that he fights, so he can
feel like an actual champion. Despite Polaris’s pleas to keep Pancada from
actually fighting, Pancada moves forward with his plan, and Polaris trains
Pancada to fight (in addition to his usual meetings with his dance trainer)… in
the weirdest animated montage ever produced.
The night of the fight arrives, and Pancada is nervous as all get-out.
He gets seemingly KO’d by Teddy, but then miraculously (even for a low-budget
film) revives just in time for the first round to end. The second round,
Pancada gets one hit in, then gets punched around by Teddy until the second round
ends. Finally, Pancada remembers Master Xin’s words: “If you fight like you
dance, you can never go wrong.”
Newly inspired Pancada takes to the third round with his dance moves.
He gets punched out and… stays down. He loses the fight, and Teddy regains his
champion status.
Pancada is back at the office the next day, apologizing in (invisible)
tears. Polaris reassures him that he has nothing to worry about… especially
since, knowing Teddy would clobber him… he won a HUGE bet he’d placed on Teddy.
Grizzlepuss realizes that the first “Pancada” was actually Polaris! He
goes to confront Polaris in his office, only to find Pancada in his place.
Pancada explains the whole thing to Grizzlepuss. Polaris retires to the tundra,
and Pancada makes the joint into a dance theatre, with him as the star!
What. A. Disaster. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t seem so mean, I know animation
takes a lot of hard work, but it just was not executed properly. I didn’t watch
it in the original Portuguese, and I originally thought the synching was off.
Nope. I wonder if the sound is off in the original Portuguese.
The animation itself looks like a work in progress, like what you see
in previews. Nope. That’s the finished product. It’s glitchy, it’s long, it’s
more like someone took basic animations over a green screen, and the characters
look… unsettling. *shudders*
The story concept itself was kinda cute and clever, but using Pandas
instead of literally anything else… clearly they ripped off Kung Fu Panda.
Also, the actual plot written… was horrible. It was terribly executed. The
voice acting itself (the English version, anyway), was surprisingly good.
Pancada’s voice actor was especially good. The only issues with voice acting are
the ones you normally get when you translate a foreign movie into another
language. All the exclamations, grunts, and sighs, plus the pauses… that’s
somewhat expected. Also, what was with Master Xin’s voice? He sounded less
David Carradine and more… McGillicuddy from Pontoffel
Pock, Where Are You?
I’m not sure there’s a rating system for this type of film, but as far
as bad films go, it… wasn’t… that… bad. It was horrible, yes, but not that
horrible.
I dunno. Watch it, don’t watch it, I don’t care, just stating the
facts.
