My Experience With... Mousehunt and Kangaroo Jack.
I’ve mentioned before that I really like cheap
entertainment, and that I have found DVD combinations in Food Lion such as Cats Don’t Dance / Quest for Camelot and Fantastic
Mr. Fox / Robots. However, not
all combinations are created equal. Or even good, in the case of Bride Wars / 27 Dresses (no, seriously, I just want Bride Wars). Some combinations just look like an apocalypse in a
case, such as…
*deeeep, sucking-through-teeth inhale*
…Mousehunt /
Kangaroo Jack.
My GOSH, if there were ever a cinematic duo so
abysmal, it would be these two. And oddly enough, I somehow still have fondness
of the first one rather than the second one.
I’m only going by memory here, folks. No
way am I about
to watch these two masterflunks again.
I originally recall catching the end of Mousehunt on TV with my Mom, and it
seemed really cute. The mouse was adorable, and the closure seemed perfectly
apropos to a family movie. So we bought it. Or rented it. Or something.
Talk about a 180.
The ending was about the ONLY part I liked in this
movie. This was rated PG, but apparently during that point in time that it
didn’t mean, “one guy dies” or “some obscure character said a mild curse word.”
Nope. I don’t necessarily mind cartoon violence. For crying out loud, I grew up
watching Looney Tunes, Hanna-Barbera series, and Tex Avery
shorts. What I do mind is the voice of Timon talking about the lineage of
female canines. Yeah, there was quite a bit of language, some sexual stuff in
there (again, if only comical). It’s one thing to have that marketed to an
older audience, but it’s another thing to make it look like some adorable mouse
chef chase that’s family fun for all ages.
Thank GOD Disney / Pixar
got it right years later.
Speaking of misleading marketing…
WHAT IN THE WORLD WENT ON HERE?
Anybody over the age of 18-20 would remember what
they thought was the premise of this
blasted feature: a funny talking, rapping kangaroo wearing a hoodie in the
middle of Australia, for some reason. Did you need a reason? No! Why? Because
it’s a funny, talking, rapping
kangaroo!!! For many kids (and their unsuspecting parents… SOLD! The
kangaroo rapping was cool with the kids, and the kangaroo rapping a Sugarhill
Gang song was cool with the parents.
My Dad took me to see this movie, and I was STOKED.
AS WAS EVERY OTHER KID BROUGHT TO THE THEATRE BY THEIR PARENTS.
The movie started with… a crime chase? Huh? Okay.
Waiting for the kangaroo, I guess. It took a long stinking time, and I remember
getting bored. Then we saw the kangaroo… yay? It didn’t talk. Or dance. Or rap.
It barely made noises. It did kick one of the main characters, though. That got
a laugh. I guess I was desperate. It may have done other things, too, but I
don’t remember.
We finally got to the part where Kangaroo Jack
started doing what we saw in the trailer. What started that? The guy was in a
dream… after being knocked unconscious… when he got KO’d by a hot chick… whose
chest he had just fondled. WHY?
I will give Mousehunt
a half-pass for having dudes putting their hands down women’s dresses, because
THEY WERE AT LEAST LOOKING FOR A MOUSE. As comically stupid as it was (and
unnecessary for a “family” film), a mouse in your clothing is pretty serious in
real life.
Here, this guy was just a jerk. He thought he was
hallucinating, and acted upon impulses rather than rational thinking. Yeah,
pretty much all the characters in the scene (except for the jerk, himself),
turned into kangaroos, and chanted “Chicken Blood” over and over again. The
rest of the movie was a lot of blah-blah-blah, boring-boring-boring, we’re not
gonna see any more kangaroo antics again are we? Nope. WHO CARES, I HATED IT.
There was a G’Day,
USA version, but I only caught the rap part on Cartoon Network. I had some
hope in this film. It was a pretty cool scene. Boxing + “Mama said knock you
out” = hey, this film may be pretty goo—YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, IT WAS STILL A
DREAM SEQUENCE??! CLICK. Urrrrgh!!! If the rest of the film is any good, please
let me know. In the meantime, I’ll leave Kangaroo Jack ALONE and watch The Rescuers Down Under. That movie is
awesome.
I’m not a fan of these remakes in movies these days
(seriously Disney, STOP remaking your classic films), but if someone were to do
a Kangaroo Jack that is actually more
about a talking, rapping kangaroo than a couple of loose screws stealing some
cash, I would actually pay $20 to see it, plus another $20 for concessions.
That’s $40 I’m willing to cough up for a re-make. Get on it, people.
Sorry this post was so rant-y. I just saw this
abominable combination and knew I had to write about it. It was either that or
take a lighter and some gasoline and torch the DVD section of Food Lion. The
latter just seemed too mean-spirited and probably would’ve landed me in jail.
What’s the biggest letdown you’ve ever had?
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