My Experience With... Willy Wonka (and Charlie) and the Chocolate Factory

This is gonna be a rough one, guys.

I know I'm posting earlier than usual (Tuesday rather than the usual #Fridayly), but given the circumstances...

Well, America lost Gene Wilder yesterday, due to Alzheimer's complications I know many people may remember many of his other movies (especially those with Richard Pryor), but... I, and I'm sure many my age, rather affectionately know him as the legendary Willy Wonka.

Sorry, Johnny Depp, you're not gonna win this round.

Hey, you still have Capt. Jack Sparrow!

I believe I was twelve when I first saw this film, so I was definitely late on the bandwagon, but I'm kinda glad I was past the "freak-out" age, so I could enjoy all the scenes, even the freaky ones. I've always had a thing for old films and musicals, so this was nothing short of AAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWEEEEEESSSSSOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMEEEEEE!!!!!!!!

The story centers on a young poor boy named Charlie (played by newcomer Peter Ostrum), who lives with his mother (a launderer) and his four grandparents, all bedridden. He goes to school, then works a newspaper route to help increase the family income. Because of his destitution, he cannot buy such delights like candy, like the other kids, much less the latest Wonka confections. On his way home one day, a mysterious tinker tells him just a little bit about the factory... in verse. Whatever. It kinda spooked me a bit, albeit appropriately so. Charlie runs home, and presents a loaf of bread he purchased with a raise he received, giving the remainder of the money to his favorite grandparent, Grandpa Joe (played by Jack Albertson),  and later that night, Grandpa Joe tells Charlie about how Wonka shut down at one point at the cause of the evil Mr. Slugworth, then mysteriously restarted, better than ever.

A worldwide contest is then presented for five lucky people to find a golden ticket inside 5 different Wonka bars, delivered around the world. The prize is a lifetime supply of chocolate. Pretty neat prize, really. The first four are found by a German glutton child named Augustus Gloop, a spoiled British daughter of a peanut shelling factory owner named Veruca Salt, and two American children; a girl named Violet Beauregrde, who is the daughter of a used car salesman, and a boy named Mike Teevee, who is the son of... wait, what do his parents do? Ah, well. Needless to say, Mike's obsession is with TV and TV Westerns. A "fifth ticket" was found by some South American casino owner, but it turns out it was a counterfeit. Charlie finds some money in a gutter, picks it up, and decides to at least treat himself. He gets a Wonka Scrumdiddlyumptious bar for himself, then purchases a Wonka bar for his Grandpa Joe. When he hears about the counterfeit, he decides to check the bar for himself. Wouldn't you know it, he found the Golden Ticket! And it was real!

The day arrives for the grand opening of the Factory (first time it was opened to anyone in YEARS), and each child arrives with one parent -- except Charlie. He arrives with Grandpa Joe. Willy Wonka (Gene Wilder) himself comes out in the BEST ENTRANCE EVER!!!!!

Again, J.D., not gonna win this time.

Yours was terrifying. I was well into adulthood

when I saw your rendition. Lord Farquaad's thing

was better than that!

They all go into the factory and... you know what? If you don't know it by now, watch the movie. Just, watch it, please! And don't watch it just because the star died, watch it because it is a CLASSIC. This was made back when movies were charming, where musical numbers were more than welcome in cinema! When instantaneous was novel and exciting, and UNEXPECTED! Watch it for the whimsy! Watch it for the romance! Watch it for the comedy! Watch it for the... yes, the FREAKINESS! Kids used to be used to getting freaked out at even the tamest of movies! I don't necessarily mean Watership Down, either, but I'm gonna guess it's a pretty close second!

*Sigh....* Well, that saved about 2 hours of writing. I need to find that tape... and watch it again... Maybe I'll learn that "Pure Imagination" song.

Here, listen to the soundtrack!

I didn't read the book until years later. I somehow never encountered it in my studies, plus between James and the Giant Peach (book) and The Witches (book & movie), Raold Dahl left a bitter taste in my mouth. What I appreciated was the fact that he was personally involved in this adaptation, which was really a full-length film advertisement for the actual Wonka candy bar, which did not sell well, due to how quickly it melted. The film lived on, though, and that's what matters. The book was pretty cool, too. I haven't read its sequel, but I might put that on my "To-Do" list. And please, nobody make the sequel! Sequels themselves are rarely good (save the Toy Story series), and film adaptations are rarely good (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is a MAJOR exception), so the combination would be horrendous and if you decide to make it, may you and your movie suffer a fate worse than the film JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS!!!!

That is a harsh curse, but it has to be said.

The film that came out years later was... strangely somewhat palatable. I don't necessarily like it or hate it, but... it was somewhat watchable. It was still mysterious and, in my opinion, truer to canon than the original film. It just.... didn't work. Sorry. The Oompa Loompas' songs were pretty cool, though.

There you have it. An amazing film, a great book, and a barely mediocre film review. Obviously, I like the original film best. And you should watch it if you haven't already. If you have, watch it again!

While I'm not particularly a fan of or attached to Gene Wilder, the Willy Wonka memory lives on... *sniff* I have a... food... in the oven.... I gotta go!

*Runs away, then back*

Who's your fave celeb, now... deceased? Do you wish you could've... met... him/her?

*Runs off in tears.*

My Experience With… Max.

My cousins came over to visit recently, and one of them brought a few movies (I have some myself, just didn’t have the wherewithal to organize them) to watch. One was Deadpool, one was Ride Along, one was Jurassic World, and one was Max. Well, I’m not much of a “superhero movie” fan, a “dinosaur sci-fi flick” fan, or an “action-packed-buddy-travel movie” fan, but I love dogs, so the choice was clear. 

First thing I recognized was the fact that THE DOG WAS SO CUTE! My first dogs were German Shepherds, and they were beautiful, despite how ill-behaved they were.

It starts off with a man in the Marines who owns a dog named Max, a dog that is specially trained to sniff out enemy combat and weaponry. However, the owner, Kyle, gets killed in combat, leaving poor Max distraught, as well as his parents and brother. Meanwhile, Justin, Kyle’s teenage brother, sells pirated video games behind his family’s back, while working in his dad’s business for the summer. PTSD-Max becomes responsive only to Justin, possibly due to the family resemblance, so the family adopts him as a pet.

This starts a chain reaction of events that bring the remainder of the family closer together, reveal some back-alley businesses, and the true events of what happened at Kyle’s death.

This movie was pretty good, as it was a film dedicated to military dogs and their masters, both living and dead. This wasn’t quite a kiddy plot, either, which was awesome. I would give it 4.5/5 paws. ☺

If you happen to come across it, give it a view, why don’t you?

What’s your favorite dog breed?

My Experience With… Annie (The Movies)

  

Warning: TONS of spoilers in this one.

As I’ve mentioned previously on this blog, I really enjoy musicals. I’m in a sense trying to catch up with pop culture (I always seem just slightly behind sometimes), but I take strides to catch up at a reasonable and inexpensive rate. For instance, did you know that if you go to Goodwill (not a sponsor of this blog, but if they want to be, I’m interested), or really any thrift store, you can find retro entertainment at really inexpensive prices? I probably spent at least $30 total on VHS tapes alone.

Goodwill usually sells VHS tapes for $.50, $.25 at outlet stores. Community Thrift also marks down its VHS’s and DVD’s to exceptionally low prices if you wait long enough. I got Shrek 2 on DVD once for $.45! That’s insanity. If you don’t have a VHS player... First of all, shame on you (lol, just messing with you), secondly, just look around ye olde thrifte storee (???) and you’ll more than likely find a gem of a player. By that, I mean one that plays VHS’s without eating the tape.

Anyway, I say all this to mention that I’ve purchased Annie of the 80s and of the 90s from Goodwill, and decided to watch them.

The basic gist of the story is as follow: Annie lives in an orphanage run by the mean Ms. Hannigan. She and a bunch of other girls are pretty much her indentured servants. A rich politician named Warbucks is running for mayor, and he needs to perform some philanthropy to win votes, so he fosters Annie just for the press to eat it up. Annie ends up winning the hearts of him and his secretary, so they arrange to officially adopt Annie. Ms. Hannigan obviously doesn’t want to lose the “servant girl” who caused her so much trouble, and her access to Warbucks’s money is a ticket out of poverty and into her own luxury. She convinces her brother “Rooster,” and his girlfriend to pretend to be Annie’s parents, for whom she’s been looking pretty much nonstop. Warbucks reluctantly hands Annie over to her “parents,” even granting them a large sum of money as a reward. The villanous trio try to escape with Annie, looking to dispose of her somewhere, but...

Hmm... It just occurred to me that every Annie has

a different ending in the movies. Basically, everything

ends up right some way or another.

In the 80s version, Annie escapes with the check and tears it apart, causing Rooster to fly into a rage as he chases her to kill her.

Yes, it’s that heavy.

Annie gets saved pretty much by the skin of her teeth as Warbucks flies in on his helicopter. Ms. Hannigan does end up with a change of heart and tries to keep Rooster from getting his hands on Annie.

In the 90s version... Crud. I forgot how the chase happened. Sorry, folks, I gotta watch the tape again. I do remember that Ms. Hannigan doesn’t change her heart toward Annie or the other orphans, and she ends up getting carted off to a psych ward. There must’ve been some chase in all that, though.

That’s the movies in a nutshell, or at least the first two. Before I get to the 2014 version, I’ll elaborate on these two tapes.

I personally find the 80s version to be the best of all of these, hands down. Seriously, look at “Hard-Knock Life.” These girls are incredible!

And of course, Carol Burnett can never be topped as Ms. Hannigan. Just the perfect blend of mean, secretly soft, and insanely drunk in her version of “Little Girls.”

Annie in this version is completely adorable, too. This curly ginger gal can seem almost like a tomboy, but is also feminine and vulnerable. Did I mention she’s adorable?

Now THAT’S a heroine to emulate to young

girls! At least to some extent.

The only drawback I have is more of a caveat for first-time viewers. There’s a movie musical, then there’s a movie musical. This one is pretty much an entire musical on tape, which I don’t personally have a problem with, but I was not prepared for it. To be able to watch it all in one sitting is hard.

Point is, it’s pretty much perfect as it is.

The 90s version was a lot shorter, to the point where it almost felt too short. Didn’t help that I virtually watched them back-to-back. This one is nice for a family to sit down and watch in one sitting. It’s also a bit more light-hearted than the heavily-toned 80s version. I mean seriously, you can feel the Depression Era in the other movie.

 I think this movie came out the year after Cinderella starring Brandy and Whitney Houston. It looked like they were doing famous musicals for children to watch without getting too bored, which I have no problem with. Kinda reminds me of those abridged classics I used to read. The cast was also a bit more diverse than the original cast, which is okay with me, too, considering it felt like watching a local play (if you've read this blog before, you may recall that this is something I enjoy doing).

My issue with this one is that it does seem a bit more forgettable than the original, but possibly for the reasons mentioned in the above paragraph. It didn’t quite feel thoroughly acted, it looked like a bunch of people decided to perform Annie. It’s not a bad rendition at all, just less intense than the original. Still, it had LaLaine in it, so that was pretty cool. Oddly enough, they cast Kathy Bates as Ms. Hannigan in here, which was a particularly odd choice, in my opinion. No doubt, Bates was pretty good in there, but she had ENORMOUS shoes to fill. All in all, she played a decent role.

You may remember LaLaine as Miranda from

Lizzie McGuire.

I remember when I saw the trailer for the new Annie... I was shocked. I was happy that a black girl was playing Annie, despite the knowledge of what backlash was going to pour all over the internet, and that she did have curly hair, even though it was brown (the 90s Annie had red hair, but it was straight most of the time), but I was also worried about it because they modernized it, plus they changed the name Warbucks to Stacks.

I didn’t see it when it first came out, but a guy friend of mine highly recommended it to me. I really did want to watch it, but life ended up getting in the way and it got pushed onto the back burner... until a couple of weeks ago. A galpal of mine named Sarah told me that there was a theatre playing $1 matinees (I told you I like cheap entertainment!). It was a very quaint little theater, just perfectly sized as a one-screen theater, just like in the olden times, or The Muppet Movie. When she told me that the 2014 Annie would be playing, I was all for it! It was the first time either one of us would’ve seen it, and we were both thinking the same thing:

Please don’t mess it up.

Please don’t mess it up.

Please don’t mess it up.

She’d only seen the 90s version -- and yes, I told her to check the original, too -- but neither one of us left that theater disappointed.

The movie starts out in a public school in NYC (liking this already...), where Annie gives a report about the New Deal. I’m guessing that’s a nod to the setting of the original film. When she returns to Ms. Hannigan’s place, the story pretty much starts there. Ms. Hannigan is played by Cameron Diaz this time, and she’s a former MTV star.

Warbucks Stacks is played by Jamie Foxx (I’ve got a major voice crush on him), who is a cell phone mogul running for mayor.

Quvenzhané Wallis plays this new Annie, and she brings a nice, new perspective to the character. Annie is a very streetwise optimist of a kid, with a big heart of gold.

The storyline is pretty much the same, but with more pop culture references than the 90s WB cartoon series put together. Okay, that’s a major hyperbole, but still. This story also seems to adapt well to the 21^st century, as a whole. The problem with many modern adaptations in films is that it tries to reinvent the wheel... This one just gives the wheel a new design. It’s not trying to be the original Annie, just something for a certain generation. It’s cute, it’s fresh, and it’s just enough. I will say, though, I think they did a little overkill on language and potty jokes, which is unfortunately to be expected in a lot of children’s entertainment today. Seriously, how little intelligence do you think these kids have?

The ending is interesting. Let’s just say that Ms. Hannigan’s brother and his girlfriend cannot exactly be this Annie’s “parents,” so they made one of Stack’s employees crooked and had him team up with Ms. Hannigan to hire people to play Annie’s parents. The chase scene happens on land, on the air, and in cyberspace??! Yup, kids seeing Annie as she’s being driven away (she becomes a major celebrity in this movie) tweet and blog using their cell phones, which helps the heroic team (including a reformed Ms. Hannigan, as in the 80s film) track her down.

Overall, this movie wasn’t bad. Obviously, it’s not better than the original, but I would dare say it’s better than the 90s film. It was a new perspective on an old tale, and it actually worked!

I don’t have any very serious issues with any of these films, and I say enjoy each one in good health. Watch the original 80s Annie for above and beyond performances in an unforgettable classic. Enjoy the light-hearted 90s Annie for easy viewing and nostalgia. And of course, view the 2014 Annie for some more modern, relatable humor told in a whole new way!

Ta-ta!

Who’s your first or favorite voice crush? (Voice crush: n. an infatuation, usually non-romantic, with a person’s exceptional singing or speaking voice or a person because of that person’s singing or speaking voice.)

I’ll give you guys an example with my answer: My first voice crush was Paolo Montalbán from the 1997 adaptation of Cinderella. My favorite would have to be this guy friend in my high school class. I’ve never told him, but I figure now is a good time to mention it, since I’m long past high school. I also enjoy listening to Patti LaBelle and Jennifer Holliday belting... and that’s (obviously) a non-romantic-woman-admiration type of “crush” if that makes any sense.

My Experience With… Teddy Paint.

I feel like continuing on this “old computer game nostalgia” kick, so I think I’ll go back to where it probably all began... at least to the extent of my memory.

(I’m not sure how many people would even remember this.)

(Welp, here I go.)

This is Teddy Paint.

Well, this is awkward. Normally, I’d have a picture

or video of some sort that best shows the

item in question. However, this may go

way beyond the internet’s capability of

remembering. So, here’s an arbitrary

(not random) clip-art of a

floppy disk, instead.

This was an OLD game my mother got me when I was little, and one of the first games I’d ever played on a computer, again based on memory. I hardly even remember it, but I do know it was an activity / educational game. It was a huge floppy disk that could be installed into one of those old computers (think of the original QWERTY from VeggieTales), and could be loaded via MS DOS (‘80s and ‘90s kiddies who’ve used this represent in the comments below!).

Grr... I’m trying my darndest to remember this (pardon my choice of words), but most everything is totally fuzzy. Seriously, I wasn’t even of school age when I first played this, so give me a chance to try to explain, and you use the best of your imagination, ‘K?

‘K.

The box art was cute. An otherwise plain, white box containing the title of the game, plus a teddy bear dressed as a painter, dripping with paint practically everywhere.

You start the game, and... Well... It’s basically mini-games. My favorite was the actual “Teddy Paint” part of the game, where you could paint, draw, and stamp in freestyle. I remember Mom had to put a limit on how many times I could play it due to the fact that I would play that instead of the more educational mini-games. I guess I did okay with them. Like I said, memory’s fuzzy. I know one of them had to do with basic addition, one may have had words, maybe colours... Things took place at school or home or bedtime...

You know what? I think I’m gonna leave it here. I’ve been looking on Google like crazy and it’s driving me mad. The post in short: I loved this game. I wish I could play it again at least once, to see what was so nostalgic about it. So it was a game on an actually floppy disk. So what? I wouldn’t mind having my future children try out that game.

If anybody knows ANYTHING about this game, please let me know. I’d like to figure out what happened to part of my childhood.

Thank you.

What’s your favorite lost memory?

My Experience With… Crayola Art Studio 2

If you’ve been keeping up with this blog (or been binge-reading it for the past hour or so), you may notice that I have a bit of a history with old games. Well, being a millennial, I suppose it comes naturally. I’ve been playing with computer and video games since I was a tot, and I have a huge preference for olden games from the saintly days of yore. I suppose my mother had a big influence on that, which is weird because I wouldn’t exactly peg her as a game geek, but on the other hand, most of what she bought me was educational, so I guess she and I are both geeks of some reference.

Whatever.

Ever see a game that looks like it’s going to be every bit as cheesy as it sounds? Well, in the spirit of continuing to wax nostalgia… here’s Crayola Art Studio 2.

GAAAAH!!!!! Looking at this now, this is about as cheesy as cheese could get! Wisconsin can’t even manufacture this much cheese! So many fonts and colors, the wacky setup, and…. WHAT’S WITH THE TV AND BIKE HORN??!!!! Was someone sniffing Sharpies before they made this??!!!!! This makes the intro to Hey Vern, It’s Ernest! look sane!

Looking back on it now, I realize just how ridiculous this game was. But back then… and to an extent, still now… THIS GAME ROCKED!!!!

This was nothing short of an amazing part of my childhood. I enjoyed games like Kid Pix and SimTunes, but could only play them at school because I didn’t have a Mac. I also have no idea what Crayola Art Studio ONE was, but who cared! Best game intro ever, completely danceable, AND it was a two-stager!

The first was Crayola Art Adventures, which was for the little kids. It was kinda boring, but still had its value. Because most of the “Art” was structured, then “free color,” I felt a little stinted using that. The second part, the actual “art studio” was AWESOME! The challenges were more fitting for my age, plus you had your OWN CANVAS. You could make awesome slideshows with drawings and animations, and you could even save them to a miniature “gallery” or print them. Unfortunately, and obviously, you couldn’t print the animations. Whatever. It was still cool.

In each room, there were all kinds of things to click on to set off animations, etc., and in the studio, there was a phone that you clicked to hear a random joke. There must’ve been at least 5 or 10 jokes, and I used to know every one of them. I don’t remember them, but I’m certain my mother must, considering the number of times she’s heard them from me or the game. (Oops. Sorry, Mom… if you happen to be reading this blog.)

Yeah, this game was jam-packed with wacky sound effects, bright colors, and crazy animations to keep the child’s interest and to bug the living daylights out of parents (Again, sorry, Mom.) Oh, and didn’t even mention the part of the game where you can find out the history of Crayola, plus how crayons and markers are manufactured. Having been raised on Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood (among many others), this was insanely exciting for me to watch, especially since it was “hosted” by kids, plus “explained” by a cartoon crayon and marker.

Like Qwirks, this is a game that I miss. I need to find these games! Well, if you happen upon Crayola Art Studio 2, let your kid try it out, or try it yourself, because why not? I can almost guarantee that you will enjoy it… provided you’re not like these cynical internet critics. J

See ya!

What’s your favorite cartoony sound effect?