My Experience With... Perms

Lots of memes today.

Okay. There are a few posts on this blog that have addressed hair and hair problems. I want to bring up the topic at least one more time. 

Growing up, I had a pretty common hairstyle of young girls:

(Uhh... what the heck, Snoop?)

Ah those were the days. I didn't get a whole lot of chemicals put into my hair back then, but if one of those barrettes came out, there went my hairstyle... and I knew Mom wouldn't be too happy.

Eventually, my hair decided to change. For those of you who don't know, there comes a point in the kinky-haired child's life, when the hair changes in texture and consistency, usually from soft, wavy, and easy to style, to the biggest pain in the neck (literally!) you will ever experience. The age of the person whose hair turns, as it is called, varies from person to person. You'll know especially when the child really starts crying (see above meme), and the stylist (often the mother) screams, "THAT'S IT! I'M GETTING RELAXER!" We did try relaxer once...

I can hear some of you going, "Called it!"

It didn't quite mess up my hair. My hair actually downright REJECTED it. So instead of my hair looking pretty like the little angel's (above) hair, I ended up with a hardly touched bush. We rinsed that out quickly and never spoke of it again. ^_^

Then came the fateful day when my mother discovered the one thing that DID work...

Quick question: Why do we use these things? They stink like the dickens, they make us stink like the dickens, and it's painfully obvious we use this stuff when our hair grows back in. What the heck?

To be fair, if I were to have to use a relaxer for the rest of my life, it would be this. HIGHLY diluted. It doesn't stink as badly as other relaxers, and for me, it seems to say, "Oh, your hair is kinky, but if you use the real stuff, it will take out your hair like you wouldn't believe. Let's leave the curl, but take out the painful kink." It's the perfect abusive boyfriend!

Some of you are probably ready to comment saying that this is technically a texturizer. I counterpoint that, saying, yes. It is technically a texturizer. And texturizers are a subset of relaxers. So yeah, "transitioners" who use texturizers:

The difference between relaxers and texturizers is essentially the process to end result. Both CAN straighten your hair out completely (if you have a curl pattern in your hair). With relaxers, that's essentially its job. It makes your hair bone straight in a relatively short amount of time. Texturizers, however, have a slightly different agenda. Instead of making your hair straight, it makes your hair go into a wave pattern. The common factors of these two is that both contain crazy harsh chemicals, and both reconstruct the amino acids in your hair... which can be already very brittle.

If you haven't seen Good Hair already,

I recommend you watch it, especially

if you are curious about black hair.

I would imagine that I started perming my hair (relaxers and texturizers are perms, btw) when I was 9, I suppose, though my mother has used mild setting lotions before then. I say 9, because that's about the age I was when I first saw slick edges in my old photos.

Oh, you wanted a pic? Don't hold your breath.

When I say slick edges, I mean something like this:

They say that this is achievable w/o relaxer. I haven't found a way that doesn't involve stiffeningly hard gel.

And yes, I mean this:

Now, those are decent edges, above. Now, natural or new growth edges can look like this:

While they're not necessarily bad, they're not as aesthetically pleasing, and not everyone will understand natural edges or natural hair, unless they're curious enough to do research. Since I work front desk, I use this stuff.

I have used every last one of these products before, but it's the first three from the left that I use the most. As much as I can't stand it -- this stuff stinks, burns, and I really think it does more harm than good -- it does wonders on my hair.

Seriously, it does make my hair easier to put into buns, ponytails, comb-outs, flat-irons. So what's the big deal, you wonder. Truthfully, I just plain don't like perms. That's it. I think there are always alternatives to just removing a kink or chemically straightening. Practices have been done since the dawn of time! Ancient people didn't have Bronner conventions, Dudley relaxers, not even Madame C.J. Walker's hot comb!

While I don't like perms in general, I don't deny that it does make hair look good, and if you choose to use it, work it! For me, however, I will keep using that creamy crack until I get my own business or something along that self-employed line, and hopefully will become a mom to natural-haired children.

Buh-bye!

Plugging time! YouTube Page.

ANNOUNCEMEMENT: Blogging regularly takes a lot of work, and I need a break, so The Lego Batman Movie review-- coming next week --will be the last blog I do for the year. I'll be taking an extended holiday leave to relax (no pun intended) and probably come up with new stuff to write about. Thank you for your continued support, and I'll see you in 2018! (Hopefully.)

What's your best hairstyle? What was your worst hair day?

My Experience With... Lego's Batman: The Movie (DC Super Heroes Unite)

Shall I continue with disappointments?

I am not what you might call a total fan of the whole DC / Marvel Superhero genre. I don’t hate it, but I’m not the type to rush to watch a midnight viewing. Then again, I’m not in a rush to even rent such movies from Redbox. That’s what internet jokes and YouTube channels are for. However, I did find Lego Batman to be my favorite character in The Lego Movie, and I definitely wanted to see The Lego Batman Movie. So, I found my opportunity! I went to the library and saw a DVD, and picked it up.

There was one problem. You know how sometimes you think something’s one thing, when it’s really something ever so slightly different? What I thought was The Lego Batman Movie turned out to be Lego's Batman The Movie. I decided to watch it, anyway, just for the heck of it.

Fun fact: this movie came out a year before

The Lego Movie. I’d never even known it existed.

The movie starts off with a pretty cool lego-themed background (revealed to be the bat sign), along with the Danny Elfman version of the Batman theme. The na-na-na-na-na version would’ve been pretty funny over the otherwise serious-looking opening, but I still loved the opening they chose. Took me back to my first year of college, when my marching band played that as part of its halftime show (we had a superhero-themed show with Batman, X-Men, and a Superman medley). Then we start our story with definitely CGI’d Lego Batman and Superman, as they face Lex Luthor.

Don’t worry, I know some of the superhero

characters. I used to watch the Adam West

version of Batman with my Dad.

The two heroes are defeated quickly by a joint effort between Lex and the Joker (I’m guessing the Romero version). Then they go to two days earlier, when Lex Luthor and Bruce Wayne (I know that’s Batman, thank you.) are at a “Man of the Year” award ceremony. Bruce wins, but the trophy and other valuables are stolen by the Joker (and a slew of other villains). Batman and Robin retrieve it after an action-packed scuffle.

In the middle of the showdown, Batman used a super forcefield to keep his Batmobile intact. Superman shows up after the fight to help retrieve items lost or damaged in the fight. As you may or may not be aware, Superman and Batman are not exactly the best of buddies. More like frienemies, really. And not even very good ones.

I never understood that. One is a mutant alien savior,

the other is basically a rich crooked cop. They both

save people! It makes no sense to me. If you feel like

explaining to me in great or minute detail what I’m missing,

I give you full permission to comment below.

Lex Luthor is clearly unhappy about his loss, but has not completely lost hope. He’s a candidate for President of the United States. However, he’s way less popular than even Jill Stein was in the polls!

She’s neither Trump nor Hillary. She’s fair game.

He watches the tapes of The Joker’s arrest, as well as past footage of his villainous schemes, and decides to break him out of prison and hire him to join forces against our two superheroes. Here’s where I’ll stop. It’s a seemingly cheap flick, but the story doesn’t seem so bad.

I suppose the CG is pretty good, given its time period. It makes the Legos look like rubber, but since this seems more like a Cartoon Network flick than a summer blockbuster, I’ll certainly let it pass. The effects themselves are fascinating to watch, even though the sets definitely look half-Lego and half-realistic.

It’s a quick watch, considering the story itself is about an hour long, but it does do what it’s supposed to do: give easy laughs, distract the mind for a long period of time, and have a nice little moral. I was a little bit confused by the ending, but I’m just going to assume that I just don’t understand Justice League folklore.

If you have especially little kids, this is a perfect for them, whether they’re into the superhero genre or not.

What’s the biggest / zaniest / most embarrassing mistake you’ve made?

Plugging time! YouTubePage

My Experience With... Mousehunt and Kangaroo Jack

My Experience With... Mousehunt and Kangaroo Jack.

I’ve mentioned before that I really like cheap entertainment, and that I have found DVD combinations in Food Lion such as Cats Don’t Dance / Quest for Camelot and Fantastic Mr. Fox / Robots. However, not all combinations are created equal. Or even good, in the case of Bride Wars / 27 Dresses (no, seriously, I just want Bride Wars). Some combinations just look like an apocalypse in a case, such as…

*deeeep, sucking-through-teeth inhale*

…Mousehunt / Kangaroo Jack.

My GOSH, if there were ever a cinematic duo so abysmal, it would be these two. And oddly enough, I somehow still have fondness of the first one rather than the second one.

I’m only going by memory here, folks. No way am I about

to watch these two masterflunks again.

I originally recall catching the end of Mousehunt on TV with my Mom, and it seemed really cute. The mouse was adorable, and the closure seemed perfectly apropos to a family movie. So we bought it. Or rented it. Or something.

Talk about a 180.

The ending was about the ONLY part I liked in this movie. This was rated PG, but apparently during that point in time that it didn’t mean, “one guy dies” or “some obscure character said a mild curse word.” Nope. I don’t necessarily mind cartoon violence. For crying out loud, I grew up watching Looney Tunes, Hanna-Barbera series, and Tex Avery shorts. What I do mind is the voice of Timon talking about the lineage of female canines. Yeah, there was quite a bit of language, some sexual stuff in there (again, if only comical). It’s one thing to have that marketed to an older audience, but it’s another thing to make it look like some adorable mouse chef chase that’s family fun for all ages.

Thank GOD Disney / Pixar

got it right years later.

Speaking of misleading marketing…

WHAT IN THE WORLD WENT ON HERE?

Anybody over the age of 18-20 would remember what they thought was the premise of this blasted feature: a funny talking, rapping kangaroo wearing a hoodie in the middle of Australia, for some reason. Did you need a reason? No! Why? Because it’s a funny, talking, rapping kangaroo!!! For many kids (and their unsuspecting parents… SOLD! The kangaroo rapping was cool with the kids, and the kangaroo rapping a Sugarhill Gang song was cool with the parents.

My Dad took me to see this movie, and I was STOKED. AS WAS EVERY OTHER KID BROUGHT TO THE THEATRE BY THEIR PARENTS.

The movie started with… a crime chase? Huh? Okay. Waiting for the kangaroo, I guess. It took a long stinking time, and I remember getting bored. Then we saw the kangaroo… yay? It didn’t talk. Or dance. Or rap. It barely made noises. It did kick one of the main characters, though. That got a laugh. I guess I was desperate. It may have done other things, too, but I don’t remember.

We finally got to the part where Kangaroo Jack started doing what we saw in the trailer. What started that? The guy was in a dream… after being knocked unconscious… when he got KO’d by a hot chick… whose chest he had just fondled. WHY?

I will give Mousehunt a half-pass for having dudes putting their hands down women’s dresses, because THEY WERE AT LEAST LOOKING FOR A MOUSE. As comically stupid as it was (and unnecessary for a “family” film), a mouse in your clothing is pretty serious in real life.

Here, this guy was just a jerk. He thought he was hallucinating, and acted upon impulses rather than rational thinking. Yeah, pretty much all the characters in the scene (except for the jerk, himself), turned into kangaroos, and chanted “Chicken Blood” over and over again. The rest of the movie was a lot of blah-blah-blah, boring-boring-boring, we’re not gonna see any more kangaroo antics again are we? Nope. WHO CARES, I HATED IT.

There was a G’Day, USA version, but I only caught the rap part on Cartoon Network. I had some hope in this film. It was a pretty cool scene. Boxing + “Mama said knock you out” = hey, this film may be pretty goo—YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME, IT WAS STILL A DREAM SEQUENCE??! CLICK. Urrrrgh!!! If the rest of the film is any good, please let me know. In the meantime, I’ll leave Kangaroo Jack ALONE and watch The Rescuers Down Under. That movie is awesome.

I’m not a fan of these remakes in movies these days (seriously Disney, STOP remaking your classic films), but if someone were to do a Kangaroo Jack that is actually more about a talking, rapping kangaroo than a couple of loose screws stealing some cash, I would actually pay $20 to see it, plus another $20 for concessions. That’s $40 I’m willing to cough up for a re-make. Get on it, people.

Sorry this post was so rant-y. I just saw this abominable combination and knew I had to write about it. It was either that or take a lighter and some gasoline and torch the DVD section of Food Lion. The latter just seemed too mean-spirited and probably would’ve landed me in jail.

Plugging time! YouTube Page.

What’s the biggest letdown you’ve ever had?

My Experience With... Courageous (the novel)

This is not the first time I’ve written anything about the Kendrick Brothers. In fact, here are links to the series: 

• Flywheel
• Facing the Giants
• Fireproof
• Courageous
• War Room
• Bonus:Priscilla Shirer (currently my second most viewed blog post)

My favorite movie of the original Kendrick Brothers’ quintilogy is Courageous, hands down. It has it all: 5 distinct protagonists, an excellent supporting cast, great morals, and an awesome mixture of drama and comedy. Well, Randy Alcorn (a very popular Christian author) apparently saw it and decided to ramp it up to 1000. This is Courageous, the novel.

Now, if you’ve seen the movie or read my blog post (this was back when I put spoilers in my posts), you should know that the overall story arcs are the same. You have 5 main characters with different walks of life and perspectives about fatherhood. Four of them work together on the police force, and the fifth met them through a divine chance meeting / accident.

• Adam Mitchell: the “main” main catalyst character who loses his daughter in a tragic accident involving a drunk driver. This event causes him to refocus on what it means to be a good father in general, and to his ever-distant son.
• Nathan Hayes: the first man introduced in the story, and the image of what a good dad entails: being a protector, provider, partner, and teacher, to name a few attributes. His main issue, however, is that he did not forgive his own father for being an absentee dad. He also faces connecting with his teenage daughter who is ready to date.
• Shane Fuller: a divorced dad trying to make ends meet, but he goes about that in the wrong way. As in illegally.
• David Thomson: an unwed dad who struggles with a desire to avoid fatherhood.
• Javier Martinez: a blue-collar worker who meets Adam when Adam mistakes Javier for someone else with the same name. He is also a good father figure to his kids, and attributes that to his own father.

Took me a minute to write that all out. I didn’t even write the full names in the original Courageous post. Yes. I do re-read my old posts. #cringe

So why read this novel, if the story arcs are the same? Uh-uh, read back a couple of paragraphs. I said they were the same overall.

Now, the thing that makes the novel more special than the book (Can you believe it? Even if the book comes after the movie, the book is still better! lol) is what it adds to it. Courageous was in and of itself an excellent movie, but it was also a long story, even after a few (what I thought were) kinda crucial deleted scenes.

Kendrick Brothers, if you’re reading this, you should release an “Extended Edition” version of your movies.

Even with all its scenes, however, the story now seems kinda disconnected. Well, not really. I’ll explain.

According to the info about the novel, only 20% of it was new writing that wasn’t originally in the movie. That 20% makes a huge difference. It makes a difference in the story, it makes a difference in the connection of the characters, and it makes a difference in the characters themselves. If the Kendrick Brothers had made this, it probably would’ve made a much better movie, which is saying a LOT, considering how good it is already!

However…. I don’t know if I would want it in the movie.

Personally, this movie was probably more heavy-handed in its tone than the Kendrick Brothers were used to. Flywheel was a basic enough movie, and you definitely get goofy vibes among the serious parts. Facing the Giants is just one big feel-good fest. You can pretty much guess every part of the plot (seriously, it’s Remember the Titans, Christian Edition), and who doesn’t like a good game of football, or even the atmosphere there? I’m marginally enthusiastic about football games, but I hardly watch the games themselves. It’s always the atmosphere and community. Fireproof was probably the first real drama they did, and even that was very domestic. Aside from one scene involving a train, it’s still light in the heaviness. Even War Room wasn’t nearly as heavily-toned in its showing, and that involved war footage and a scene involving Priscilla Shirer’s character talking to the devil! (I’m unsure of the theological soundness of that, by the way, but it did make a half-decent monologue for someone who’d never been in a movie before.)

Yeah, I know. “Look who’s talking.”

My point is, if Courageous had gone the Randy Alcorn path, it probably would’ve been way heavier and way more severe than what the Kendrick Brothers would have been willing to go. Also, I’m glad the book had a more serious atmosphere than the movie. Personally, when I watch a movie, I don’t want to get weighed down by its atmosphere. I don’t mind a good drama, but there are limits for me. With books, I have a stronger threshold for emotional movement. A movie for me, is a complete escape from reality. A novel, however, transports me to a different reality.

I say all this to say… read the book. No, really. Not necessarily as an evangelical book, not even as a Bible study or father study book. Read it as a novel. It, like The True Meaning of Smekday, will take a couple of days to read, but I assure you, it will be worth the read.

Ciao!

Plugging time! YouTube Page.

What’s your favorite novelization?